Grumpy old race fan

Well, it's been a month since my surgery, and I've been trying to do a little introspective look at my life. You know....where am I right now, where am I going, how the *(&^ did I let myself get into this predicament...the usual questions.

Where am I right now? I'm 10 years off from being able to retire with full benefits, I'm very much overweight and a Type 2 diabetic with less than ideal eating habits. I just got through with a really big surgery that I'm STILL trying to recover from and am pretty much disgusted with life in general right now.

Perhaps it's because of the surgery, or maybe it's because this coming Sunday will be the last race of the season out at Eagle Raceway where I work during the racing season. I am supposed to be there at noon for the beauty contest judging and then help stuff "goodie bags" for the drivers. Then, at 3:30 get the things we need to sell pit passes and head to the pit shack.

For the next 2 1/2 hours I need to be at the "Pre-approved" window to take care of the tow truck folks, push truck drivers, fire and rescue helpers, etc. Then go and watch the evening's racing so that I can write a recap of it for the website. After the races, I need to interview the evening's winners and include said interviews into the recap.

The problem is, I'm hurting. Last weekend I managed to make it through the night (without interviewing the winners) and got the story put up on the website the next day. Now, when I said that I "managed to make it" I meant with great effort. The wife and I headed home, I took 2 hydrocodones and then hit the hay because I was wiped out and in significant pain as well.

God, give me the strength to make it through this one last evening of the season and live up to my expectations and those of my employer.

Speaking of my writing, someone posted on another writer's blog that I "should have quit a long time ago!". Wow!! What a great ego booster THAT was. I'm not sure if I'll do some writing over the winter or not, since evidently it's not any good. The problem being that since I was off for 3 weeks from work and then on 1/2 days for a bit my pockets don't even have lint in them. I need the paltry amount that getting a story published provides. It's enough for 1 of my wife's medications, and that's truly something.

I had to stand for my (and my wife's) insurance for basically a month, plus pay the normal household bills and put food on the table. So, here I am...back at work full-time even though I probably SHOULD still be on 1/2 days. Ah well, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right??

Speaking of that other writer's blog; it seems to me that his attempt this year at helping out as a quasi-promoter out at Eagle has led to some hard feelings on his part. His latest post said "I will bet every penny in my bank account, in my 401(K), and that I can borrow that you NEVER see me writing anything for Eagle, and very little about the place." The harsh reality of what sometimes happens with a big show has turned him back into the curmudgeon the he used to be, going back to his Bruton personality.

This is where the title for this blog comes from; not just "Bruton", but a bunch of others including myself. It seems to me that the postings on our local message board (dirtdrivers.com) are still running about like they always have. Some people whining or complaining about this and that, but more and more I see the older guard being downright NASTY on there. The above mentioned writer is a perfect example; such a shame. Add to that the constant blogs by "Bruton" about how there's only 1 dirt track in the state worthy of even being in business truly irks me. I thought that true dirt track fans would support any and EVERY dirt track, not just those that haven't done something to tick you off.

The real shame is I see myself slipping into that same vein of being grouchy about the current state of dirt track racing more often than I care to. Of course, I wouldn't post anything bad about any track or racer or promoter, no matter what I may perceive that they've done to me personally or the general dirt track community. Not just because I am one of the faces of Eagle Raceway (a very public one on the internet in fact), but because I have no right to question anyone or anything I am not personally involved in. I will defend Eagle, it's racers and promoter however. It's nigh onto impossible to resist the temptation to lambast some 3-toothed drunken bleacher creature who posts something on a message board that's filled with not only blatant lies but also horrendous spelling and punctuation. I've managed so far, but my will power is waning even as we speak.

So, that's where I see myself right now. I hurt, I'm constantly tired, I can't eat the foods that I so badly want to and I need to get my fat old hiney up and get going!! Hopefully I'll find the strength to do so.

Thank you to everyone who stopped by to read my little introspective.